Shit my mom says
Sunday, January 15, 2012 at 8:51PM Mom: What are you doing tonight?
Me: Meeting some friends at The Palm for dinner.
Mom: They still don't have king crab legs because of the overfishing. Did you hear about the people who got sick because of lobsters?
Me: What?
Mom: It was on 60 Minutes. There's an island of people who got sick diving for lobsters. They're all crippled now.
Me: A whole island is crippled? Did the lobsters attack them?
Mom: No they want to make money selling lobsters so they dive with tanks that have no gauges and they all got sick. They showed a whole family who were crippled and then they died.
Me: On camera?
Mom: No, but they were hobbling around because they came up too fast.
Me: They got the bends.
Mom: No they got that deep sea diving sickness when you surface too fast.
Me: The bends.
Mom: No that's wrong. They had to sit in a machine--
Me: A hyperbaric chamber.
Mom: Can you take this seriously? All these people on this island are dying now. All for lobsters.